something is dripping outside my window.

facebook makes other people's lives too available. i don't need to see an entire photo album of you taking shots in PB out of plastic cups, wearing a tank top too small, and looking like trash. nor do i need an update on your health and/ or boyfriend's health. it should be called faceboring.

recently, my life has seemed sour. nothing bad is happening, though, i am just not too keen on september. august was hard, but at least i got a job that month. so far september has given me nothing except a lot of... disappointment? (side note: grammar will fail me at 4:30 in the morning, pardon the juvenality of this post). just in the past week the dreaded "just friends" card was dealt not once, not twice, but three times! and though i expected nothing less, it still felt heavy in my gut like too much chinese food. insecurity is really gross, i am aware, yet it can be justified. september has been insecure. is it ok to allow spells of looking in the mirror and seeing wrinkles? of asking almost everyone you know if you look fat in this... "this" being jeans, a skirt, a dress, anything. of coming home early, going to bed, and trying not to cry when your parents ask their friends, "who should we hook up with alise?" i need a boyfriend for no other reason then to spare me from having to answer, "how's the love life?"

i mean life is good.... working at Hyde-Edwards again is too sweet for words; God really is smarter than I am... it was the LAST thing i wanted and it was the last thing i got. it makes me wonder if He was waiting for me, if the job would have been this great, let's say, in April. or if His will were to have it come when it did. it doesn't matter, does it? so many trivial questions can clog up my mind and the server gets busy and i can't receive anything. i think that's what's been happening lately: i'm thinking too much about... ME. ooooh big shocker! if nothing else, this blog allows me to process things easier. i'm sure it's not the most entertaining. i was reading a client's daughter's blog. she and her girlfriend are traveling in bali. she is really funny. it made me want to be wittier with this. sometimes humor comes naturally, september hasn't been that humorous though. even my laugh is napping.

ps, i am thinking about getting my tattoo. mom, i know you'd rather do all the grocery shopping for the rest of your life than see this happen, but don't freak. it's only thinking, not inking.